The Problem Is Not Me
A few years ago, a drug addict friend of mine invited me to come with him to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting that was open to friends and family of members. I could see that the group was helpful to a lot of people, but I was deeply disturbed by one thing. It had the mantra: ‘The problem is not drugs – the problem is me.’ Not ‘the problem is with me,’ or, ‘the problem is my behaviour, my misuse of drugs,’ but, ‘the problem is me .’ It is an important distinction, as I argued to my friend on the way home. If you tell me that I have a problem, it implies that I need to seek help in overcoming my problem. If you tell me that I am the problem, it implies that I ought to rid the world of that problem by committing suicide. My friend tried to explain that I didn’t know what it was like. ‘You’re not an addict, so it’s different for you,’ he said. ‘All of us in there are into really self-destructive behaviour, so it’s true about us.’ I wasn’t...